To Late
by kelsoe
Summary: It's really important to be punctual. Not for yourself of course, but for others. A mission goes sideways and the world changes. For Want Of A Nail.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto is the property of Kishimoto Misashi. I do not own any of the characters or places in this world.

"You can't catch me, cuz I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!" Naruto yelled as he jumped off the cliff. He landed on all fours like a fox, and ran to his favorite hiding place.

"Naruto!" Naruto's wall camouflage somehow wilted.

"Iruka Sensei? Heh, heh, funny seeing you here. Might I add that you're looking _awfully_ handsome today," Naruto cringed as the words left his mouth. _That wasn't as creepy as it sounded in my head, right?_

Iruka frowned. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He closed his mouth.

"I uh … I take it back, you're _not_ looking handsome today. Believe it!" _But that's just insulting. What would father do in this situation._ "As son of the Hokage, I order you to make this not awkward!"

"You're the son of the hokage?" Iruka frowned. "Then why would you make such a mess on his face?" Iruka cringed.

Naruto opened his mouth. No words came out. He closed his mouth.

"Naruto, as your teacher I order you to make this less awkward!"

"Why don't you take me out for ramen?"

"Alright, it's on me."

"Naruto, you know who the Hokage are right?"

"No idea." Iruka looked at Naruto flatly. "I'm serious teach. Tell me 'bout 'em. I'm just the son of a foreigner ya' know? These kinds of things go over my head. You've seen my grades."

"What are you talking about Naruto? Your grades are fine."

Naruto scowled. _What do grades have to do with anything?_ He thought as he folded his arms and began to pout. _I could get bad grades if I wanted to._

"Does this have to with what you said earlier? About your father being Hokage."

" _Shut up,_ " Naruto whispered. "I like you Iruka Sensei. I think of you as _the father I never had_." He looked around mischievously. Hopefully, some member of Anbu had overheard. "That's why it's very important that you drop this subject, and _never_ talk about it again."

"Right," Iruka nodded, "I think I'm starting to get a good picture of what's going on."

"Naruto," a voice screamed from the distance, "I'd better not find that you've snuck out to eat ramen again. It ain't healthy for ya! Believe it!"

"Shit!" Naruto exclaimed, as he got out of his seat, and began to hightail it through town. "See ya teach!"

"Who woulda thunk it?" Iruka said to himself, as he shook his head. "The Hokage and The Tomato, together?" He laughed to himself. Only anybody with a set of eyes.

"Why doesn't Naruto ever get in trouble?" Kiba asked. "If I'd done that shit, I'da had to scrub the shit out of those fucking stupid head statue things. I bet it's nepotism."

Iruka nodded, "That's not why Kiba. I don't know what you mean by that. Coincidentally you'll all have to be doing the clone jutsu as punishment … as a coincidence," Iruka finished with a smirk.

The classroom groaned.

"Thanks a lot Naruto," said the crowd.

"Ah shaddup!" Naruto responded. "If you were me you'd do the same thing."

Half the class sighed, Naruto had a point. The other half, the half that weren't secretly jackasses, just shook their heads. The golden boy got away with everything, and there was nothing they could do about it.

After the class was finished demonstrating their clone techniques, Naruto was busy proving that he wasn't untouchable, thus making the rest of the class hate him less.

"Iruka Sensei, please, I'm begging you: don't tell my momma 'bout this! You have no idea the asskicking you're setting me up for!"

Iruka was unmoved. "Naruto, it's time you learned about consequences."

"Please Iruka, I really uh … I thought that was how you looked. Believe it!"

A blood vessel popped in Iruka's forehead.

"Iruka Sensei, are you alright? Ya look constipated."

"Enough!" Iruka shouted. "Naruto shut up. I'm not going to change my mind. Until you learn that, that _filth_ is inappropriate for the classroom … _That_ is not a viable technique!"

"It certainly isn't," said The Tomato.

Naruto gulped, even Iruka looked a bit nervous.

"I uh … Missus Uzumaki, I uh … Your son made a mistake. Please spare him. It's something that boys his age go through."

The Tomato didn't look convinced at all. Naruto sighed, his fate had been sealed when Iruka had told his mom. He was fucked.

"You did this," he mouthed silently to Iruka, as Kushina stomped in front of him.

"Naruto!"

"Yes Ma'am."

"What have I told you about the Sexy no Jutsu?"

"Not to use it in public," he sighed.

"That's right, a good ninja never shows an incomplete jutsu to the public."

"But it _was_ complete," Naruto argued foolishly. "It had Iruka completely incapacitated!"

Kushina sighed. "Embarrassing Mom no Jutsu," she shouted as her clothes seemingly vanished. Both Naruto and Iruka were down for the count. "That's a finished technique."

It would take Naruto years to recover from the mental trauma he received that day.

 _Meanwhile in Suna_

"You're killing ends today, monster!" Sasuke had seen the red haired boy kill and kill and kill. He was risking his life, but his oldest brother had always told him that ninja's were for the people. That forgetting that was what had doomed his clan. Sasuke was a hero of justice, and the blood that the red haired boy spilt may as well have been Sasuke's own parents.

"Mother is telling me to kill you."

"..." Sasuke gulped. _Why does he have to be so creepy?_ But the boy quickly got over his fear, and began a sprint towards the ginger. A pillar of sand rose up high above Sasuke, who quickly side stepped it, and continued his charge. A tentacle wrapped around Sasuke's ankle, and Sasuke was forced to grind to a halt. Running would only trip him now. Falling meant death. He grabbed a kunai from his shorts, slashed the tentacle apart, jumped back a few paces, eyed the red haired boy, and jumped back a few more paces. Out of the opponent's reach.

"I recognize you," The Redhead growled. "You're the one that's been following me! Watching, _always_ watching! Well that ends tonight! Tonight you die!"

 _Well that ain't good_ , thought Sasuke. He realized he'd been a fool. This boy was out of his league. But he didn't plan on dying today. Perhaps a good conversation was in order. He held up a hand. The Redhead stopped. _I can't believe that worked!_

"Listen ..."

"Gaara."

"Listen Gaara, do ya wanna know the difference between you and me?" _Talking like Naruto should help. Nobody could diffuse a situation like him._

"I am alive and you will be dead."

"Well apart from that." _Now I just have to think of something._

"No. No more talking, now you die."

Sasuke held up his hand again. Amazingly, Gaara stopped. _Why does this keep working?_

"Ya see buddy-"

"I'm not your _buddy_ , I'm your murderer," Gaara growled.

"Ya see friend," Sasuke started again, "Killing people is mostly looked down upon. Killing a killer however is not. Ya know what that means?"

"It means that I'm gonna kill you!"

Sasuke shook his head. "It means that while you have to be stealthy, I can be as flashy as I want." Then he jumped and blew a fireball at the Redhead. Ninjas came like flies.

But not before a tentacle wrapped around Sasuke's right arm.

"Sand coffin!"

And all Sasuke knew was pain. A demon looked down on him. "Shinobis are coming. But they won't be here fast enough! You _die_!"

Sasuke stared into his killer's eyes.

"Don't look at me!"

Sasuke stared.

"Don't look at me with those eyes! Mother hates those eyes! Don't look at me!" The Redhead stumbled backwards. "Stop it!" Gaara's eyes were darting back and forth, and he began to run. Away.

Sasuke sighed in relief. Hopefully a medical ninja got to him before he bled out.

"Quite the riot you've caused little bro," said Shisui in amusement. "Looks like we're gonna have to hightail it outta here, huh?"

Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, as an Uchiha, you can't go chasing Jinchuriki like that. It looks very bad."

"I was just ... I was just trying to do some good."

"You have to think before you act," Itachi lectured. "Do you know the difference between a good shinobi and a bad shinobi?"

"A good shinobi lives," Sasuke sighed. "Not that it matters to me. I'll never be a good shinobi now."

"Just live," Itachi cried, hugging his precious little brother. "All that matters is that you live."

As Sasuke hugged his brother, he brought his right arm up to eye level. _I may not be able to do ninjutsu,_ Sasuke thought as he stared at the stump, _but I will still have my revenge. I will still create justice. I will still kill the Fourth Hokage!_


	2. Chapter 2

"And finally we have Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura-"

"Yes!" Naruto shouted, as he jumped out of chair. Then he noticed Sakura's head slumped in despair. "What's wrong with you Sakura-chan?"

"She's just upset," Sai answered, "Because anybody paired with you, Small Penis-kun, won't get any good missions. The Hokage will certainly try and protect you. For a no-name, flat chested, civilian kunoichi like Sakura-chan, that's a death sentence."

"Oh thanks Sai," said Naruto. "I'm glad it's nothing personal."

Kiba nudged Naruto, "Don't answer to Small Penis-kun."

"Huh? But he just says things. I mean, he just called Sakura flat ches-"

As Naruto was recovering from Sakura's elbow being rammed in his face, Sai began to elaborate.

"You are quite correct Small-Penis. Being paired with you would be truly terrible! The worst fate for a begin-"

"And Sai," finished Iruka. "Your sensei will be-"

"Why does a great ninja like me have to be paired with uh …" Kiba looked down at his sheet of paper. "Hyew-Gah Hee-Nah-Tah, and Ob-Eww-Raw-May Shee-No? Are those two people even in this class? I don't know 'em. Hey!" Kiba realized, "I'm being paired with a bunch of secret geniuses from ANBU aren't I? I bet their parents are S-class nin who had to leave the village for some flimsy reason, and they were secretly trained in the art of the ninja by some shady sensei who plays by his own rules! This means I'm actually a genius! It's the only explanation!"

"..." Said Hinata.

"..." Said Shino.

"You take that back you bastard!" Naruto exclaimed, outraged.

"You tell 'im Small-Penis," cheered the rest of the class.

"Hinata is that weird shy girl who never talks," Naruto yelled, pointing at Hinata. "Isn't that right Hinata?"

Hinata blushed and looked away.

"And Shino is that shady looking guy!"

"Mizuki? I thought he was a teacher." Asked Kiba.

"Huh? No, not him. I meant Shino is the guy who always wears shades. I don't know anything 'bout him cuz he always freaked me out. Always wearing those ugly sunglasses and talking about bugs. What a weirdo!"

"Oh yeah!" Said Kiba, "I remember Bug-Kun yelling at me for almost stepping on a bug. I pissed my-" Kiba abruptly stopped and turned red. "The important thing is that uh … Well I'm just a genius! Someday I'm gonna become Hokage, believe it!"

Akamaru yipped in agreement.

"You? Be Hokage? Nuh-uh, I'm gonna be Hokage. I'm a people person. Everybody looks up to me."

"Shut up Ino-Pig!"

"Sakura I'm hurt, I thought we were best friends."

"I'm going to be Hokage Ino, sorry. I'm the top ninja in the academy and that means I'm the best. I'm gonna make the most money!"

"Then why would you wanna be Hokage?" Asked Shikamaru. "The Hokage doesn't make as much money as a top Jounin."

"I'm gonna be," said Sakura, "a dirty Hokage! Bribes, bribes, and more bribes!"

"Oh I guess that makes sense then. Good luck."

"Shikamaru, how could you? We're supposed to be teammates!"

"Well I'm gonna be," said Naruto, "a house husband. My dear Sakura-Chan will provide for me and the kids, right baby?"

"That's right Naruto," said Sakura warmly, as the two stared tenderly into each other's eyes.

The rest of the class was disgusted by the scene, and broke off into little groups. The two most obnoxious kids in the class going out was a match made in Hell.

"So tell me a bit about yourselves: hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams. I'd like to get to know you."

"Hi I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The name's Naruto but you can just call me Big Penis-kun."

"We're trying to factual here Small Penis-kun," Sai pointed out. "Your self appointed nickname makes no sense … That is, unless it's one of those 'funny' nicknames I've heard about. Like someone calling Choji Small-kun."

"I'll take just about anything really," Naruto explained to his sensei. "Just don't call me what Sai calls me. I don't want that to be my nickname again."

"Alright Naruto," said their sensei.

"I like ..." Naruto blushed and looked at Sakura. "My dreams are …" Naruto giggled and looked at Sakura. "And something I dislike is," Naruto became serious and the three team members gave him their full attention. "The _Fourth_ Hokage! His reign can't end soon enough!"

"... Alright," Said their sensei. "Thank you for sharing Naruto-kun. Next we have you, pinky."

"I like hanging out with my best friend Ino. I dislike hanging out with my good-for-nothing boyfriend-"

"How could you Sakura? I thought you liked being around me!"

"I do, I do," Sakura hastily reassured. "It's just that you can be a bit … annoying."

"Annoying?"

"Annoying."

"Annoying?" Naruto asked again in horror.

"Annoying," Sakura sighed. "But only a little bit!"

"Hmph!" Naruto pouted.

"C'mon babe, I was just kidding!"

"I'm _not_ annoying!"

"Of course you're not," Sakura assured as Naruto dove into her arms, "There, there." She patted him on the head.

"I'm not annoying right?"

"Nu-uh, I love ya babe."

"Sakura!" Cried Naruto.

"Naruto!" Cried Sakura.

"Ugh," said their sensei. "I thought they didn't assign couples to the same team. Oh well, I'm sure they'll be broken up soon enough," Naruto and Sakura stopped embracing for a moment, to send death glares at their sensei. "So Sai, why don't you introduce yourself to us as well."

"Hello, my name is Sai. I like long walks on the beach-"

"We have no beaches here!" Naruto exclaimed. "This is the village hidden in the _trees_ , not the village hidden in the _beach_! Stupid!"

"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed scandalized. "Language!"

"What did I say?"

Sakura looked around and noticed Sai and their Sensei looked confused as well. She thought back on the conversation. "Oh, sorry Naruto-kun, I thought you said something else." She turned to Sai. "Naruto's right, where did you even get that from Sai?"

"Hmm, it looks like my book was wrong." Sai pulled a book out of his pant pocket, _Socializing for Dummies_ , flipped it open, and turned to a page with a crease in it. "See, it says right here on how to introduce yourself. 'I enjoy long walks on the beach.'"

"First off," said Naruto, "that's an example not something you're supposed to say yourself."

"Secondly," said Sakura, "that's for dating! Something like this should be under the category: introducing yourself to new work colleagues."

Sai nodded. "Thanks for pointing this out to me. It really is nice to have helpful teammates like the two of you ... Ah look at this. The book actually advises to give superficial hobbies and interests, to avoid becoming too close to annoying coworkers who will probably disappear in a few weeks anyways!"

"Teamwork," said Naruto putting out a hand.

"Teamwork," agreed Sakura, her hand meeting his.

"Teamwork," said Sai, after flipping through his book.

Their Sensei shrugged and put his hand with his three pupils. "Teamwork."

"Alright break!" The ninjas withdrew their hands.

"Alright," said Naruto, "we need to decide on a team name. I vote for Team Naruto!"

"I think we should be called Sakura and Friends."

"I think we should be called Small Penis, Flat Chest, Sai, and ... Plain Face?" Sai looked at their Sensei.

"Yamato. We will be called Team Yamato. I'd like to go training ground 12 and get a demonstration of your skills. It will really help me personalize your training regimen and effectively strategize in battle."

The three ninja showed their Sensei their skills. Yamato wasn't surprised. He was neither impressed nor disappointed. None of them were geniuses, but they were all well above a beginning genin. A few weeks of D rank missions and then he'd give them a test. A C-ranker.

"Is that short one even a ninja? He looks so young. And dumb. He's got the face of an idiot."

"Ha ha Sai!" Naruto laughed. "You hear that? You're short and stupid!" Naruto looked around. Nobody else was laughing, in fact, they all looked a bit exasperated. He eyed Sakura and Sai and noticed he had to look up to meet their eye line. He thought about this fact for a few moments. "Hey! I'll kill you!"

"I am the expert bridge builder Tazuna, and I expect you to provide me protection until I get back to my country, and finish building my bridge."

"Naruto," the Fourth called after him.

"Yeah?"

"I just want you to have this," the Fourth handed him a three pronged kunai with a seal around one of the handles. "This is a C-rank mission, and shouldn't be two dangerous. But you can never tell with missions. The second you relax is the second you get killed. If you get in any trouble, just throw this kunai, and I'll appear in a flash."

Naruto took the kunai. "Sure. Thanks. Bye." He turned to go.

"Naruto!"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to tell you … I love you son."

Naruto turned and left the room without an immediate response. Once he was out of the Fourth's line of sight he ripped up the seal. He'd rather die than accept the help of that man. He kept the kunai though. It looked cool and might be useful in a fight.

AN: Without Sasuke in the class, and without any stigma to his name, Naruto's early attempts to court Sakura would have probably been successful. Without Sasuke, Ino and Sakura would have continued being best friends. Without a stigma to his name, Hinata has to look elsewhere for inspiration, and sets her eyes on someone else.


End file.
